Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
It's rum buckets o'clock
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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