everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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