My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
