no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
