You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
my poor anus
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize