May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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