And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
