A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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