I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
