Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
