the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize