He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
