if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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