I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
