Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
