did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
