I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
