You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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