he thought i was a dude.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
