She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
