Don't you send me to vm
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize