the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
