If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
