If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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