Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
