You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
