you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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