I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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