hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize