Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
