is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
He told me they were just razor bumps!
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
