I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm both gender and math confused
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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