People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
