Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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