Christians are straight up FREAKS
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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