Quick, to the slutcave!
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
