why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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