its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
