yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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