We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
