I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
This can only be settled by a dance off.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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