I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
