I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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