is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
