He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize