left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
