Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
