So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
