I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
