we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
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