no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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