Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
