"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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